Wash On, Wash Off

One of the most fascinating things about Beijing is all of the big high rise buildings that house the millions of people that live in this city.  There are no homes or neighborhoods like the ones we are familiar with in the states.  To see this city, you must look upward.  And as you look upward you find that all of these thousands of apartments anywhere you look have one thing in common, a big front sun facing window with laundry hanging to dry...... like curtains from Bed, Bath and Far Beyond!  

Shawn and I have the same strange aparatus in our living room window.  It consists of two long poles running the length of our front window.  It has a pulley system so that those of us with a shorter stature can crank it down to hang our duds and then proudly hoist it back up high so that they can dry for the day in full view of the world.  It looks like something from cirque du soleil!  Its so stinkin funny, I can actually look up and see Shawn's underwear from the playground! 

People from Shawn's office sometimes drop by the apartment and I have to stop myself from running to the window to pull down our unmentionables. Shawn assures me that it is totally acceptable that they are there in full view.  Still, I am just so grateful that I went shopping and "upgraded" a few pairs of my drawers before we left for our trip!

It does not end with the windows, however. You can walk along the streets and see comforters and towels draped over fences, on park benches....wherever.  I recently did some browsing at a lovely little sidewalk sale.....only to find out that it was someones laundry drying.  And, yes I did notice that everything was the same size. I thought it was haute couture!

Last Wednesday I was waiting patiently for Lil Kim, you know our housekeeper (ayi) to arrive for her weekly appointment. Well, when I rushed to answer a knock at the door, I found that Lil Kim's grandmother had shown up instead. I get it, the agency is going to send a new person every week. Lucky me!

This new woman seemed lovely though and she greeted me with the usual smile and many many words that I did not understand.  Having learned from my mistakes, I had suitable towels and rags for cleaning at the ready.  Then, I grabbed her gently by the arm so that I could point out Olivia who was sound asleep in one of the bedrooms. The ayi smiled and gave me the thumbs up. Many of the older generation here give Shawn and I that gesture as we walk through the streets and frankly it beats any gestures I had been receiving at home. 

So, off she went to clean. Still, not being particularly comfortable with having a housekeeper and not being sure what to do with myself while she is scrubbing,  I went off to the computer room to send emails to some of you.  Because I am unable to express what I would like the housekeeper to clean I kinda get what I get. The hardwood floors really needed to be cleaned because somehow the smog and funk make their way inside despite the closed windows.  I thought she would do this because 20 something had done so last week. This particular lady had other ideas however and headed right for the windows to clean in between the sills.  She showed me what she planned to do by doing the Karate Kid "wash on, wash off move". We are not exactly living in the Emporer's Palace and who can say when the window sills were last cleaned so I figured have at it....the floors can wait.  I was looking forward to getting a clear view of the city from my newly cleaned windows when she ran into the computer room giving me the stink eye and waving her filthy rag to show me the dirt she had removed.  After she did this for the second time, I grabbed my bible, "Mandarin Chinese for Dummies" and tried to find the words for "hey lady that isnt my dirty shit....we just got here"!  But there were no words and I had to just smile and nod...yes, yes it is my filthy mess.  

Shortly after, Olivia woke from her nap. I picked her up and brought her over to the ayi so that she could get a good look. The ayi smiled and reached out to touch Olivia's hand.  

Just then the unimaginable happened.  In a moment of East meets West chatter, in which neither of us could understand the other....the ayi decided to play charades and reached out and grabbed my boob, not once but twice!  After I picked my jaw up off of the floor, I realized that I was not about to receive the happy ending that Shawn had been hoping for. Instead, this woman shared the strangely inappropriate and apparently universal fascination about baby diets and was trying to inquire about whether or not Olivia was being breast fed. 

I so don't get this...in my lifetime I have seen thousands of babies with their mothers..... and their snacking habits have never crossed my mind.  Even though I am in the club now,  I swear, I see a baby and I don't care if they are sucking on a boob or a forty ounce!

Confucianism & the Art of Cooking

Chinese Proverb: No rice, No wife to cook

Meaning: Without the right material, no matter how good you are, you may not accomplish the task.

Today was Shawn's first full day at the office. So, I settled in with the baby to enjoy this rainy but pleasantly cool day. What to make for breakfast? Many of the Chinese breakfasts I have enjoyed in restaurants include items not traditional to American breakfasts.  For example, locals can typically be seen eating noodles and soups first thing in the morning. 

So, when in Rome...........I had recently purchased some instant soup noodles, similar to ramen noodles but in questionable flavors. I had found one with a picture of beef and cilantro on the front and the package read "taste very good". Well, I was sold!  Granted it was 9am but somehow it seemed right! 

If you have ever eaten ramen noodles you know they come with two ingredients, a clump of dried noodles and a packet of salty goodness to add.  Not so here! There is a clump of dried noodles and about 7 packets of.....well, I'm not really sure. So, I proceeded to make the soup. I added several of the curious packets but not all....I am new here after all....taking it slow. And then I sat down to enjoy my breakfast. Oh mother of god! It was a big bowl of pain! When I say it was a bit spicy...its like saying I am a bit short and sexy!  Memo to the food industry: surely there must be a universal symbol for very fucking hot!  When I order take out at home, I dont know what half the stuff is either, but the menu has little red peppers next to the spicy stuff. No translation required. In this case only a picture of Diablo himself holding a pitchfork with flames shooting from his ass would be an accurate portrayal of my breakfast! Bon Apetite!

This has pretty much been our experience cooking at home. Mind you, we have no oven and three gas top burners, two of which work.  There are many wonderful grocery stores here and we go shopping almost daily as we can only buy as much as we can carry. No automobile! 

Still, it is proving to be a bit of a challenge.  The stores have everything...yet they have nothing that I have ever seen before. 

Now right out of the gate you have to eliminate most fruits and veggies here if you are not a local. The rule of thumb for visitors is, you have to be able to peel it or boil it to eat it. Luckily, we have found lovely bananas and peppers etc. which have become a staple for us. Now here, you fill a bag with fruits or vegetables and then bring it to a separate counter where a woman weighs and tags it for checkout. Sounds simple enough but its very crowded in Beijing and that translates to the shopping as well. I find that every time I go someone or another is pushing me, cutting ahead of me, holding their bag of bananas up higher than mine.  Jejus, I used to mosh at the QE2, surely I can take a couple of old chinese ladies with their hands full of fruit. So, the other day I prepared myself and told Shawn to "wait here".  I snapped my gum a few times and headed over to the counter elbows out, bananas up....and we will wait to have our fruit weighed no longer!

The deli/meat counter at the grocery store is not an option at the moment either, because frankly Shawn and I are afraid of it! Its not like you can walk into this place and buy a pound of hamburger. You can, however, buy duck heads, black skinned chickens, a variety of unrefridgerated eggs, grubs (at least I think thats what they are) and live turtles. I didn't bring my recipe for turtle soup and the ramen noodles hurt...so we are pretty much screwed~!  They also have a section with decorative pots with lids..think Asian salad bar. I lifted up one of the lids....oh my...even Shawn let out a little yip. Have you seen Fear Factor?

I would, however, be remiss if I did not mention some of the lovely food discoveries we have made thus far.  McDonalds Filet-O-Fish is made with wasabi mayo, Lime & Mint Lays potato chips, Almond juice......scruptious. And, ps they sell beer by the can here! 

From Princess to Empress......You can't bind these feet!

Week 1, July 4-July 11

After months of planning and anticipation we arrived in Beijing one week ago today.  We are settling into our new abode and neighborhood, quite different from the one we know in Colonie. Our home is among the many high rises here in Beijing and while I think it will prove to be comfortable during our four month stay, it will likely present challenges as well.  

You can see into everyone's home here and they can see into yours. This is big city living! Homes and businesses are intermingled together here. I can see a hair salon from my kitchen window where people are getting their hair shampooed at all hours of the day and night. I plan to speak to my hairdresser about this when I get home. I brought along a pair of scissors as I am hoping to avoid the chinese haircut. I don't even get the doo I want when the stylist speaks English so.....I did bring a hat just in case.

From my living room window I can see a daycare, a guy doing sit ups and a tatoo & piercing parlor (again, a chance I am not willing to take). Now I don't know if anyone is looking at me but....at home I am known to do some late night streaking around the house. If Olivia needs a bottle or I need an oreo or something I just go get it. Granted, I do crouch down and do a couple of Agent 99 rolls as I pass by the windows to avoid scaring my neighbors, all of whom I know by name and who I will likely see the next day. Here, my moves don't seem to work. The windows are too grand and there are too many surrounding buildings.  Late at night, I sometimes forget and walk out into the living room......lights, camera, action....its like I am suddenly starring in my own version of Mandarin Hair on Broadway! I can't tell if people are talking about me at the playground, but clearly I need to come up with a better plan.

Speaking of the playground.....tons of kids gather everyday at the nearby play area in our neighborhood. They often play late into the evening and it has provided Shawn and I the opportunity to meet some of our English speaking neighbors. Most, however, do not speak English. A little boy knocked Olivia down the other evening...he knocked her down good too basically a "road kill" situation. His mother came running over and was speaking very rapidly and loudly to me in Chinese. Was she apologizing? Was she upset? Shit, I thought not only does my Chinese suck but so does my ju jit su. I was hoping that she didn't want to throw down with me over by the teeter tawter!

Against my better judgement, we have arranged for an ayi or housekeeper to come once a week to help with the chores. A very common practice here in China for the expats and cheap!  She arrived for the first time on Thursday at 10 o'clock sharp. She was a cute, twenty something and did not speak a word of English.  Clearly, she will not be bothering me with idle chatter.  After a few mutual smiles and nods, she surveyed the apartment and then came to me with some towels in hand that she had found in the bathroom. Yes, I nodded vigorously...soft and fuzzy, egyptian cotton.....perhaps she was admiring them, asking where I had purchased them. 

She proceeded to scrub our hardwood floors for the next two hours. I could see myself in them. Of course, I later noticed that she had used the new towels that I had just purchased to do so but she did ask first. She was wonderful. Shawn thought she did a good job too and while he didn't say so, he seemed slightly disappointed that there was no offer of a "happy ending". Duh.....someone cleaning my house while I put my feet up and sip green tea is a happy ending!