Confucianism & the Art of Cooking

Chinese Proverb: No rice, No wife to cook

Meaning: Without the right material, no matter how good you are, you may not accomplish the task.

Today was Shawn's first full day at the office. So, I settled in with the baby to enjoy this rainy but pleasantly cool day. What to make for breakfast? Many of the Chinese breakfasts I have enjoyed in restaurants include items not traditional to American breakfasts.  For example, locals can typically be seen eating noodles and soups first thing in the morning. 

So, when in Rome...........I had recently purchased some instant soup noodles, similar to ramen noodles but in questionable flavors. I had found one with a picture of beef and cilantro on the front and the package read "taste very good". Well, I was sold!  Granted it was 9am but somehow it seemed right! 

If you have ever eaten ramen noodles you know they come with two ingredients, a clump of dried noodles and a packet of salty goodness to add.  Not so here! There is a clump of dried noodles and about 7 packets of.....well, I'm not really sure. So, I proceeded to make the soup. I added several of the curious packets but not all....I am new here after all....taking it slow. And then I sat down to enjoy my breakfast. Oh mother of god! It was a big bowl of pain! When I say it was a bit spicy...its like saying I am a bit short and sexy!  Memo to the food industry: surely there must be a universal symbol for very fucking hot!  When I order take out at home, I dont know what half the stuff is either, but the menu has little red peppers next to the spicy stuff. No translation required. In this case only a picture of Diablo himself holding a pitchfork with flames shooting from his ass would be an accurate portrayal of my breakfast! Bon Apetite!

This has pretty much been our experience cooking at home. Mind you, we have no oven and three gas top burners, two of which work.  There are many wonderful grocery stores here and we go shopping almost daily as we can only buy as much as we can carry. No automobile! 

Still, it is proving to be a bit of a challenge.  The stores have everything...yet they have nothing that I have ever seen before. 

Now right out of the gate you have to eliminate most fruits and veggies here if you are not a local. The rule of thumb for visitors is, you have to be able to peel it or boil it to eat it. Luckily, we have found lovely bananas and peppers etc. which have become a staple for us. Now here, you fill a bag with fruits or vegetables and then bring it to a separate counter where a woman weighs and tags it for checkout. Sounds simple enough but its very crowded in Beijing and that translates to the shopping as well. I find that every time I go someone or another is pushing me, cutting ahead of me, holding their bag of bananas up higher than mine.  Jejus, I used to mosh at the QE2, surely I can take a couple of old chinese ladies with their hands full of fruit. So, the other day I prepared myself and told Shawn to "wait here".  I snapped my gum a few times and headed over to the counter elbows out, bananas up....and we will wait to have our fruit weighed no longer!

The deli/meat counter at the grocery store is not an option at the moment either, because frankly Shawn and I are afraid of it! Its not like you can walk into this place and buy a pound of hamburger. You can, however, buy duck heads, black skinned chickens, a variety of unrefridgerated eggs, grubs (at least I think thats what they are) and live turtles. I didn't bring my recipe for turtle soup and the ramen noodles hurt...so we are pretty much screwed~!  They also have a section with decorative pots with lids..think Asian salad bar. I lifted up one of the lids....oh my...even Shawn let out a little yip. Have you seen Fear Factor?

I would, however, be remiss if I did not mention some of the lovely food discoveries we have made thus far.  McDonalds Filet-O-Fish is made with wasabi mayo, Lime & Mint Lays potato chips, Almond juice......scruptious. And, ps they sell beer by the can here!